Hesitation

I’ve been hesitant to post about about my trip to Portland.  On the one hand my sister and I completely reconnected and thoroughly enjoyed spending time together.  We have concluded that we are twins, only we were born 2 1/2 years apart.

On the other hand, I experienced some extreme difficulty with my father.  The kind of difficulty that is causing me to closely examine my realtionship with him.  It’s not that shit hit the fan for the first time while we were in Portland, it’s been hitting the fan with him off and on for years, and what occurred in Portland may have brought everything to a head.

I’m trying to decide how far I can go with airing my dirty laundry, I’m wondering if there are boundaries that should be respected when blogging about a family member.  Part of me really wants to put it all out there in the universe and let the chips fall where they may.  And the other part of me wants to respect his privacy even though I’m feeling like he doesn’t even deserve that right now.

At least I know that I have a confidant in my sister.  And I also know that a good friend of mine happens to be the adult child of a man who has made some questionable choices in his life too.  Anne, I might be calling you soon!

Mr. Pickles…Who ARE You?

Everybody wants to know!!

Well maybe not everybody, but my friend Regan asked and so I’m going to give her an answer!

http://docmaureen.blogspot.com/2009/02/chicken-game-rules.html

I was introduced to The Chicken Game through a new blogger friend…Hi Kate!!!…and I have to admit, at first I was weary.  I was all “are you kidding me?,  a little chicken, in strange poses with funny captions, but then I saw some more pictures of Mr. Pickles, and was all “Oh yeah, of course, a little chicken in strange poses with funny captions, now that is funny!” AND, as a bonus, I have more blog fodder!

So I jumped on the band wagon after Kate…Hi Kate!!… gave me my own Mr. Pickles at a recent girls weekend.  And I actually have not yet introduced Mr. Pickles to my kids or my husband…I’ve been having all the fun by myself.  Of course Rogan has been sick ALL WEEK LONG and I was trying to wait to introduce my little chicken to all three boys at once.

The Down Side of Time Away…

…coming home!!

Seriously!  Don’t get me wrong, I miss my family when I’m gone, but when I get home, my tolerance for bullshit seems to have disappeared.  The kids seems louder, and whinier, the house seems messier, there are more dishes to be washed and the list of to do’s in general just seems longer.

I’m also reminded of my age when I go out of town, because I’m so damn sleepy when I get home.  I kid you not, I had to yell at myself a little in the car to stay alert!  It sucked.  And then at home, all I felt like doing was nothing!  On the couch!  By myself!

Leave me alone!!!

P.S.  I had a really great time!

Hint #1

I’m not pregnant.

How Sweet is She?

Internet, I want you to know how much my friend Anne loves me.  Please go here to find out!  I do so love that homemade jam!!

Monday Schmunday

Usually I do my little manifest thing, but quite frankly, I’m a little bored with that.

Saturday night, a few of my girlfriends and I went out for a little R & R, and a lot of alcohol!  We started out at a local place called Mad Anthony’s.  It’s a new brewery in downtown Elkhart, but please don’t interpret “downtown” to mean that it’s a bustling hot spot complete with major businesses and skyscrapers…that would be a huge exaggeration…no offense Elkhart.

Regardless, Mad Anthony’s was a fun place to start.  They had great beer and tons of vegetarian food on the menu, which in a smaller city is a gem of a find!  After Anthony’s we headed to Dino’s to crash a birthday party for a friend of a friend.  I ran into another friend there, and was immediately challenged to a Karaoke duet!  Please note, I have never Karaoked before, but have always wanted to despite my inability to hit the right notes!  The thing is, I LOVE being the center of attention…I bet you didn’t know that about me did you?

So partnering with my chum Amanda, who can sing, was a great compromise for me!!  She had previously chosen to sing “You Learn”, by Alanis Morrissette…which as it happens is one of many Alanis songs that I have always loved.  So we sang.  And to be honest, I have no idea if we sucked!  1. I was drunk—SURPRISE!!  and 2. I honestly could not hear myself singing!!  I’d like to think that I hit all the notes and that my musical timing was brilliant, but I know better!

Much fun was had!!  And I continued to have fun until about 4 in the morning…I had been in bed since about 1:30am or so, and when I woke up, I knew I was in trouble.  TOO MUCH BOOZE!!!  I knew the hangover that would ensue would be a BAD one.  And I was right.  Puking, chills, pounding headache, more puking…my whole body ached!  And it was all my fault!  My entire Sunday was spent nursing a treachorous hangover.  I am too fucking old for this!

The Blow Job

Do a Google search for blow jobs and you get the obligatory links to all sorts of porn sites featuring the blow job.  Of course Wikipedia weighs in on the discussion as well:

Fellatio, also called fellation,^[1] is oral sex performed upon the penis. It may be performed to induce orgasm and ejaculation of semen, or it can be used as foreplay prior to vaginal or anal forms of intercourse.

Fellatio, or, more precisely, fellating to the point of orgasm, is commonly referred to as a blow job.^[2] Fellatio is sometimes referred to as “giving head”, although this term can also apply to cunnilingus. An alternative method of oral sex performed on men is irrumatio.

* http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fellatio

(There’s also an illustration of the act…in what seems to be occurring during a round of “69″.)  And if you ask me, well even if you don’t, blow jobs are one thing, 69…entirely something else.  Well not entirely, but you know what I mean!

I find it very interesting and worthy of note to point out that so many of us end up blogging about the activity, if even in a short and very ‘edited’ manner.  Insert personal story here!  Actually, I do have a personal story to share here.  Not that kind of story…get your minds out of the gutter!

Once upon a time, a certain man, we’ll call him “M”, was having a tough time getting his expense reports done on time, thus causing some financial problems in his home. His wife, we’ll call her “T”, decided to bribe “M”, attempting to entice and encourage with the promise of a certain act, we’ll call it a…”BJ”, if the reports were filed on time preventing the disruption of all things financial in the home.  It worked!  They lived happily ever after.  The End!

In an effort to be informative and educational, I have gathered together some alternate terms used to refer to this very pleasurable act.

• playing the flute
• mouth congress
• giving head
• going down on
• sucking off
• rolling cigars
• gaining knowledge
• bust down
• dome
• lolly gagging
• deep throating
• tonsil hockey
• sucking dick
• oral stimulation of the penis

Can you add to the list?

Home Sweet Home

A breakdown of our traveling:

• Basically, we were in and out of the car so much that  I considered it part of my exercise routine for the week,
• But then I went and ate so much damn chocolate that all my ‘car squats’ became insignificant,
• I very much enjoyed seeing family, but felt like my time to relax and visit was overshadowed by my desire to be on time-ish for the next visit,
• Mike, McKade, Rogan, Mazie and I shared a bedroom for the week,
• 10 adults, 4 children, and 2 dogs shared the house for a week,
• I only packed one shirt for Rogan…my packing was interrupted by Candice and Greg who were semi-panicked regarding their ability to catch their connecting flight,
• Luckily gas prices were down so all the driving was affordable,
• Mike and I were able to grab some time alone, in the car, and enjoy a quick visit with an old high school friend Regan, who by the way has opened up a really cute shop in Shelbyville, KY…it’s called Through the Looking Glass,
• Over the course of the last week or so, I had several mini thoughts about a third kid…at the moment, I’m really good with 2!!,
• The New Year is almost upon us, and I’m looking forward to spending a child friendly evening with our friends Scott and Gina, and their three girls, Leah, Keely, and McKenna,
• I have every intention of posting again soon, but I promise you nothing!!!
• Until then enjoy some pictures from our trip:

What’s It All About?

I’m kicking myself after realizing that I missed the opportunity to ask for some gifts that I have been wanting for a while…but isn’t that how it works?  People ask what’s on your list for Christmas and you blurt out a few things that you want, but they’re not the things that you realize much later would have been even better.  Oh well!  It’s not about the gifts!!  That’s what we keep telling ourselves anyway!

And you know what?  It’s not about the gifts.  It’s about the booze, and the cookies, and all the homemade chocolates you can shove into your pie hole before it’s time to leave.  So now you know what I’ll be doing this holiday.

This is my last post until after Christmas.  We start our travel today and return home in one week.  We’ll begin in Noblesville visiting some good friends, then we’ll head to Cincinnati, and then onto Lexington, back to Cincinnati, and then back to Lexington!

So, have a great holiday season, be it Christmas, Hanukah, Kwaanza, Christmakah, Festivus or whatever else there is to celebrate.  Enjoy your time with your precious peeps and I’ll catch you on the flip side!

Peace Out!

A Veritable Smorgasbord of Fun

My friend Anne is planning a girls weekend!  And I am all over that!  Every time we get together there’s alcohol, chocolate, great food, tons of laughter and a whole bunch of inappropriate, lewd and disgusting humor (Anne).

Sometimes we see ghosts (me).  Sometimes we shed a tear or two for the pain we have experienced in our lives.  But most importantly we are given the chance to be together as women (who have reverted to very teenager-like behavior) sharing our precious time.

I hope she knows how much I enjoy these special times together!  And that I can hardly wait!