Heads nor Tails

Mike is still pulling third shift, and I as a direct result, I can’t seem to function normally.  I feel like Mike and I are living in parallel universes, not unlike that one movie…you know, where they leave notes for each other but at different times in their lives.

I have not been writing on this blog, nor reading other blogs.  Just a few visits to Facebook and I’m overwhelmed.

Everything seems to have taken on a slow motion feel, yet I can’t seem to get everything done that needs to do done.  What an oxymoronic predicament.

Oh yeah, and I can’t seem to stop needing naps during the day either.  WTF!

Gotta go.  I think I’ve spent too much time here and if I don’t hurry, I’ll be late for doing nothing.

I just can’t think of a title for this one!

I’m currently sitting in front of the computer reviewing Facebook and various blogs that I follow.  I can barely turn  my head even a quarter of an inch…apparently I’ve been doing some sort of pain-inducing activity while I sleep because for the last two days, I have woken up with what feels like a major case of whiplash.  I spent most of the day in an adhesive pain patch and a scarf!

Mike has been working late recently as they are engaged in union talks.  At one point he mentioned that they might need some help at the plant if the union strikes.  By “help”, he meant ME!!  And any other willing and/or able soul he could find.  This of course would us with a lack of childcare since I am the primary care-giver and we don’t have family around!  However, Mike is feeling optimistic that they will reach an agreement soon.  Like by midnight tonight!

I had a great birthday last Friday.  Which for me is a big deal.  You see, for the last um, 29 birthdays or so, I’ve set my expectations way too freaking high.  So high that in essence I set myself up to feel disappointed every damn year.  I finally made the connection and started lowering my expectations and taking control of my day.  Now I try to plan things with or without others, and then I hope for the best.

The boys have been fighting a lot lately.  Fighting while playing with imaginary toys!  And the question I posed recently on Twitter is this: If McKade and Rogan are playing with imaginary toys and McKade “takes” one, should he be in trouble?  Seriously, the arguing is wearing me down.

My Mum is headed up here this coming weekend and I am looking foward to spending some time with her.  In fact, after her last visit and the realization that we have the ability to make some improvements in our time together, I feel excited to confront the challenge.

The boys are playing Wii at the moment, and I gave them the 10 minute warning about 7 minutes ago, so I’ll sign off now and try to connect again soon!

Snippet City

The survivor edition!

In an attempt to catch you up and help me keep track of all of the things I want to blog about…I’m doing bullet points here…some other bloggers I know have done this as well recently, so I’m following their lead!

• Rogan had goopy eyes, I mean really goopy…so he and are staying home this weekend while Daddy and mack head to Lexington to see family…I must admit, I am disappointed but that goopy eyed little boy does not need to travel…he has a doctor’s appointment today at 10:50!
• I accidentally killed a caterpillar yesterday…details in another blog.
• I’m getting involved in an awesome fund raiser, it’s called Benchmark and I could not be more excited about it…details in another blog!
• Mike has not yet been back for the follow up to verify that all swimmers have indeed ceased and desisted…thus another pack of $35.00 birth control have been purchased!
• Spent a small fortune at Target yesterday on fun outdoorsy stuff for the kids…AND a King down-alternative comforter for us…that comforter: $35.00!!  Now that is a bargain!!  So of course I’m on the hunt for an affordable duvet! And damn it, I will find one!
• I am in love with this TV stand:

• And I’m saving my money until I can buy it!
• I am also in love with these boots:
• And I will save my money so I can buy those too!!
• I miss my sister so damn much.  I feel like we got a taste of spending quality time together when I went out to Portland, and I want more!
• I’m getting a lot out of my counseling sessions.  We’ve discussed many things including my Dad and my Mum, and so far I’m feeling really positive about the way I’ve been handling things.
• As a result of the previously mentioned, I’ve developed a theory about what role parents play when they come for a visit! More on this in another post!
• Just had Rogan diagnosed…pink eye…both eyes!
• And me?  I think I’m in the very early stages of another bladder infection…more information than you really want, but my pee starts smelling kind of funny when I get these infections, and yes I’ve had them and self-diagnosed them before!
• Waiting for a call from the on-call physician to start a prescription before everyone is unreachable for the weekend!
• It would seem that Mike made the best choice by vacating these diseased quarters!
• Oh and I found a tick crawling in my arm, while sitting here at my computer!
• Quickly gave Mazie her flea and tick treatment and I really hope that was the one and only tick that gets in to my house!
• And how come when I use the word “blog” in my blog,  spell-check tells me that I spelled it wrong?  That’s just not right!
• Oh, and enjoy your Memorial Day Weekend!  And if you want to take a moment to observe this national day of remembrance, you can participate in a “National Moment of Remembrance“: at 3 p.m. on Monday to pause and think upon the true meaning of the day.

Wednesday is Cake Day

Well, at least today was.  We’ll see what next Wednesday brings.

So here’s the story.  I’ve never been one to enjoy baking cakes.  I much preferred ordering one…but not some big fancy, schmancey overpriced concoction.  Just something that will provide at least one piece for everyone present, and also something with a design that will make my boys  feel like they are getting exactly what they wanted.

But, I have a friend, Heather, who bakes cakes for the special occasions in her life and she has been encouraging me and supporting me in my desire to do the same.  My main motive for finally converting to the homemade variety: SAVING MONEY!!

So for Mike’s birthday, I baked him a cake, seen here:

"Chocolate Rock Cake" as named by McKade!

I went all out in the chocolate department.  McKade decided that the crushed chocolate on the side of the cake looked like rocks, thus we named the cake “Chocolate Rock Cake!”  It wasn’t the prettiest cake, but it was enjoyed by all.

Baking that cake for Mike got me thinking about trying another one.  So  I mentioned this to him but then commented that I had no occasion for which to bake another cake.  His reply?  “Bake one for Wednesday.”  I quickly did a mental calendar check desperately trying to remember what Wednesday’s occasion would be.  I could think of nothing.  I asked him, and he stated simply, that a Wednesday was as good a time as any to bake a cake.  So I did.  And here it is:

Lemon Cake with Cream Cheese Icing served with a side of Mike!

My husband was so freaking happy when he came home and I told the “Wednesday Cake” I had baked.  He thinks this will be a “regular Wednesday thing”.  (My belly and thighs beg to differ!)

*Both cakes were made from a box.  The chocolate one also had store bought icing and the chocolate decorations were my doing.  The icing on the lemon cake was from scratch.  My plan is to master the box cakes with homemade icing and then I might get bold and try baking cakes completely from scratch.

Avoiding Avoidance

So I’ve managed to avoid you all week.  Mostly because I still feel so daunted by what happened with my father that every time I’ve even considered sitting down to write about something, I froze.  I didn’t know what to write about.

As far as my Dad, I will state that I learned about some things from his past that are less than desirable.  And how he dealt with and continues to deal with these past mistakes is affecting me intensely.  Please don’t assume that it was infidelity.  That particular mistake is already out there and has been dealt with on more than one occasion.  It’s old hat!

Rather it was something else that I cannot resolve on my own and so I have decided to seek out some therapy.  I have an appointment next Thursday.  I think this one appointment should do it for me.  NOT!!!

Other than the aforementioned pressing issue, it has been a good week.  For those of you with whom I Facebook (used as a verb), you know that Rogan has finally started peeing on the potty.  And it’s about damn time.  That kid is 16!!  It’s quite sweet really.  When he wakes up in the morning he asks me if I’m going to let him pee.  Like I would say no!  “No Rogan, you go ahead and keep pissing and shitting in that really freaking expensive diaper, I don’t mind!”  I gleefully anticipate the day we become diaper free.  I’ll never give up wipes though, those things are amazing to clean with!

I’m missing my hubby a lot.  He hasn’t even been away.  it just feels liike we have been really disconnedcted lately.  My dream from last night didn’t help matters much.  I dreamt we were growing apart while dating and we decided to separate.  Of course I still had feelings for him so when I saw him out in public with friends, including another girl, my dream jealousy reared it’s ugly head.  Oh I felt so conflicted!

When I woke up, I scooted as close as I could to Mike and tried to bring myself back down from the point of almost sobbing into his back!  The morning brought real tears to my eyes while I was sharing my dream with him!  He poo-pooed me and reassured me and I got over it!  But damn I hate those dreams!

I’m so glad it’s Friday and that there is decent weather in the forecast!  Enjoy life!!

Damn Fundraisers

• We paid $5.00 for a $10.00 off coupon valid TODAY ONLY at Elder Beerman,
• The 5 bucks went to the PTA, for yet another fund raiser we are doing,  so I guess that makes it OK,
• I think this is the 786th fund raiser this week year so far,
• So Mike headed over there for a little “away from home time”, as he is feeling stir crazy and trapped. (Of course the overly tight jock strap isn’t helping much.),
• He has to wear the strap as he heals from the “V”,
• So Mike’s intention was to find himself some new shoes, but of course the coupon could not be used on any of the 5 pairs they had in stock.  Yes, that’s right, 5 pairs!,
• He calls and asks if there’s anything I need.  He was in the athletic department and began mentioning a few pairs of work out pants,
• Despite the $10.00 coupon, the pants he found were still going to run at least $25.00, which means these damn pants were around $40.00 to start with.  What?  Forty dollar work-out pants?  Are you freaking kidding me?  I sweat in those bitches!  It’s not like I’d wear them to a job interview!,
• So I say no thank you, but then tried to rack my brain to figure out something else we could buy.  Wait.  This is wrong on so many levels,
• I remembered that I was wanting a new water bottle, you know one of the new stainless steel ones…so I suggest that and luckily Mike tracks one down…AND it is only $10.00!!  BINGO!!  Coupon spent!,
• Except, Mike has no cash and he is faced with using our debit card for the measly 60 cents to cover the tax…
• So then we start bantering about investing in a new down-alternative comforter…apparently they had some on sale…
• Suddenly I realize we are seriously considering spending about $60 or $70 just so Mike can avoid paying 60 cents tax on our debit card.
• HUH?
• This is not a good plan,
• Spending $ does not = saving $,
• The above mentioned all took place while we were on the phone.
• Damn fund raisers!

Snip Snip

The die is cast and the reproductive chapter in our lives has come to a definitive end.

Mike had his vas deferens severed today, which in layman’s terms means he got snipped.  As I type this, he is in a Valium/ Vicodin induced slumber.  Poor guy started feeling some pain about an hour after we got home from the doctor’s office.  He said it felt like he got thumped in the ‘nards.

My husband approached this day and this decision really well.  In fact I would say that he was the one who spearheaded (no pun intended) the trek into his own sterility.  I look forward to stopping the birth control pill, and saving $35.00 a month,  although I will admit that it has been very easy for me.  The pill did exactly what it needed for me when I needed it.  I had relatively few side effects over the years and was able to address those sufficiently enough with a switch to another type of pill.

Right when we got home today, Mike asked me how I was feeling.  I joked and told him that I had changed my mind and that we should run upstairs and get pregnant.  But really, I’m good with this decision.  I liken it to when you are in a relationship which you know is over and when the break-up actually occurs, there are pangs of sadness and loss.  It’s the same for me with this, not that Mike and I are breaking up.  What I mean is, we knew we were done having kids, but now we’ve made it physical.  Whereas before it was more or less emotional.

I am proud and grateful to be married to a man who has taken responsibility for our reproductive choices.  Today he demonstrated yet another reason, among so very many, why he is the one for me.

The Platypus

I scared my husband last night when I told him that I had blogged about blow jobs.  I think he must have assumed that I had finally ‘gone there’ and blogged about something really over the line.  Kind of like how my girl Anne does it!!  But I quickly prevented him from having a coronary and insured him that it was all really quite innocent. Part of me thinks I should be blogging about cunning lingus today, but I think we’ll save that for another time.

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As I sit and type this it is -11° and with the wind chill, we are reaching -27°…with possible wind-chills reaching all the way down to -45°.  I was wrong the other day when I said it was cold.  Today is cold.  But it is winter.  And we do live pretty far north.  What the hell were we expecting anyway!

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So the plane crash in the Hudson River yesterday?  Absolutely amazing.  The fact that they all survived and the pilot seems to have made all the right choices is astounding.

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I’m feeling pretty random in my blogging today.  I think I’m trying to get something down on paper screen just for the sake of staying connected and consistent.  But I seem to be lacking in any real substance.  So on that note, I’ll end.  With a poem.  About the platypus.

The Platypus
I like the duck-billed platypus
Because it is anomalous.
I like the way it raises its family
Partly birdly, partly mammaly.
I like its independent attitude.
Let no one call it a duck-billed platitude.

by Ogden Nash

The Blow Job

Do a Google search for blow jobs and you get the obligatory links to all sorts of porn sites featuring the blow job.  Of course Wikipedia weighs in on the discussion as well:

Fellatio, also called fellation,^[1] is oral sex performed upon the penis. It may be performed to induce orgasm and ejaculation of semen, or it can be used as foreplay prior to vaginal or anal forms of intercourse.

Fellatio, or, more precisely, fellating to the point of orgasm, is commonly referred to as a blow job.^[2] Fellatio is sometimes referred to as “giving head”, although this term can also apply to cunnilingus. An alternative method of oral sex performed on men is irrumatio.

* http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fellatio

(There’s also an illustration of the act…in what seems to be occurring during a round of “69″.)  And if you ask me, well even if you don’t, blow jobs are one thing, 69…entirely something else.  Well not entirely, but you know what I mean!

I find it very interesting and worthy of note to point out that so many of us end up blogging about the activity, if even in a short and very ‘edited’ manner.  Insert personal story here!  Actually, I do have a personal story to share here.  Not that kind of story…get your minds out of the gutter!

Once upon a time, a certain man, we’ll call him “M”, was having a tough time getting his expense reports done on time, thus causing some financial problems in his home. His wife, we’ll call her “T”, decided to bribe “M”, attempting to entice and encourage with the promise of a certain act, we’ll call it a…”BJ”, if the reports were filed on time preventing the disruption of all things financial in the home.  It worked!  They lived happily ever after.  The End!

In an effort to be informative and educational, I have gathered together some alternate terms used to refer to this very pleasurable act.

• playing the flute
• mouth congress
• giving head
• going down on
• sucking off
• rolling cigars
• gaining knowledge
• bust down
• dome
• lolly gagging
• deep throating
• tonsil hockey
• sucking dick
• oral stimulation of the penis

Can you add to the list?

From Sad to Glad in a Matter of Moments

It’s Wednesday and Mike has not yet been able to get back from his trip to the…wait scratch that…I just heard a car door slam…HE”S HOME!!

Gotta go!