Why is it that when a kid gets sick, my husband is automatically on my shit list? It’s like Murphy’s law. Rogan pukes thus Mike is suddenly an asshole! And actually, since we’re naming names, Mike admitted that I too earn instantaneous primary status on his shit list! Funny huh?
There are a few other things that seem to happen when a kid gets sick…I’ve compiled a list for your reading pleasure…if you think of anything to add, please do!
When a kids get sick…
- my hair really looks like shit
- I neglect personal hygiene
- I become sleep deprived
- and sleep deprivation causes me to become a really big bitch
- …a bigger bitch than normal…yeah, I know, poor Mike
- my house looks, well, actually it looks the same
- cooking is less appealing than at the best of times
- the non-sick kid always seems louder than normal
- the animals seem excessively needy
- my pits stink, oh wait that one is probably connected to #2
- bodyhair seems to grow much faster in undesirable locations…again, there must be a #2 connection there
- meals and any other consumption of food seems to have a more random pattern
- sex?!?!? Fuck that!
- the desire to sleep is irrepressible
- even the kid whose sick can be really irritating, and yet the maternal desire to care for and dote on said child is very strong, subsequently resulting in an internal conflict that seems overwhelming and insurmountable!
What other ones you got for me?