If Jealousy is Green, What Color is Guilt?

Tomorrow is my 36th birthday.  I’m excited!  I feel like I have finally reached a point in my life that I am starting to appreciate the value of making good choices for my body.  I’m trying to eat better, exercises regularly and maintain a better mood.  The mood part remains the most challenging area for me.  In addition to managing the guilt I feel when I “violate” my routine!

The summer is going well despite the skin-melting heat we are enduring right now.  The boys are enjoying the activities we do from time to time.  I do not have them enrolled in many summer activities, and I still struggle with indecision and guilt regarding that being a good thing or bad.  There are so many families that schedule daily activities for their kids, and I have chosen to “fly by the seat of our pants” instead.  Does that make me lazy, cheap, or neglectful?

Next month the boys will begin swimming lessons, which in our opinion is a necessity.  They must know how to swim.   I sometimes feel guilty about the fact that they don’t know how to swim yet.

I’m noticing a theme here…why is there so much guilt associated with living life and raising our children?  Where the hell does that come from?  I’ll tell you: we compare ourselves to everyone else instead of feeling confident about making independent decisions without second guessing them.

And with that, I’m making a New Year’s resolution:  STOP COMPARING MY FAMILY TO OTHER’S FAMILIES!!  STOP FEELING GUILTY FOR DECISIONS I MAKE!  I HAVE THE FREE WILL TO MAKE WHATEVER DECISION I WANT!!

“It’s not New Year’s”, you say!

No shit!

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2 thoughts on “If Jealousy is Green, What Color is Guilt?

  1. Deb says:

    But it’s YOUR NEW YEAR. Birthdays are like that – your very own offical New Year.

  2. Sarah says:

    Amen Tanzie! I needed a dose of that. I get myself into that cycle too.

    Have a great birthday!

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