2 Surgeries and {hopefully not} Counting

For those of you (fabulously) unaware, I had to have two freaking surgeries so far this year.  The first was for my knee.  Sometime back in November or so, I twisted my knee funny while working out and the end result was a torn meniscus in addition to something called “jumper’s knee”, which I did not know was an issue.  Because I can jump, muthah-fuckas.

But apparently, my knee surgeon disagreed.

Speaking of end results,  about 4 weeks later I went to another surgeon.  This time however, it was for a different part of the body.  My  ASS!!

Yes.  You read it right.  My BUTT!  You see, I had a helluva bad delivery with McKade.  And it resulted in something called an anal fissure.  I have managed the pain for years.  And it’s been quite the journey.

I can remember after McKade was born feeling such intense pain and thinking it was all par for the course.  When it finally got to the point that I could no longer sit down to nurse him, I knew I needed help.  And it was hard to find.

Eventually I found relief from the pain.  I learned that my options were to heal or to undergo surgery.  I chose to deal with the fissure in the hopes that it would heal.

Well, it obviously didn’t heal.  And in the reading I’ve done, fissures can heal within 3 or 4 weeks.  Beyond that, typically they are considered chronic and require surgical ‘repair’.

I’m open about this and willing to share because:

  1. Chronic, if only temporarily chronic pain, sucks and draws the life out of you, leaving you feeling ‘not like yourself’, depressed, alone, and even hopeless,
  2. There is absolutely nothing to be embarrassed or ashamed about,
  3. Fissures can occur for multiple reasons, and may even indicate that there is something else going on in the body which requires your attention,
  4. We all have the same parts, and sometimes those parts don’t work well and need adjusting, and if I can share my experience with others, perhaps I can prevent them from feeling this pain,
  5. Oh yeah, and the most important reason for sharing:  Are you freaking kidding me?  This is by far one of the most comedy rich experiences I have ever had!  My ASS needed surgery!!!

I’m healing well and hope to find my new ‘normal’ soon.  I guess you could say, that pain in my ass, well I nipped it in the BUTT!!

Smartass snarky comments are encouraged!!

Oh and one more thing, sadly there are no photographs to coincide with this post.


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